Is there someone in your life who goes off unpredictably, sometimes spewing anger and resentment at you?
Yeah, that happens to us all at some point in our lives. Sometimes it’s a person you can avoid being around, and sometimes it’s a co-worker or family member.
Yikes…what then? That’s when I want you to don your placid cow persona.
There’s someone I have to be around fairly often who is very insecure, and that insecurity manifests as aggressive defensiveness. No amount of soothing will derail this person when that behavior starts – those of us in the vicinity just have to wait it out and hope the verbal barrage isn’t pointed at us.
When something like this happens to you, maybe what I do can help you, too. Make it a game – imagine that you’re a beautiful cow, standing in a lush green pasture, chewing your cud under a sunny, cloudless sky. Your mouth is closed, your eyes are soft and you are 100% focused on your little piece of paradise.
When you don your placid cow persona, you’r...
High achievers often struggle with overwhelm and imposter syndrome. Let me say that again and say it better this time – high achievers like you often struggle with overwhelm and imposter syndrome.
You’ve been driving yourself since you were a child – to get high grades, to take tough classes, to push through until you achieved your goal and then to feel like that goal wasn’t good enough, so you set an even tougher one.
Sound familiar? It does to me, too – that’s how I was and still work to not be.
Finding balance in life isn’t only about a work-life balance, it’s about a more balanced view of who you are and what you need.
You need to rest.
You need to take time off.
You need to do what feeds your soul.
You need to remember that your needs are your first priority. When you do that, you’re less likely to be sick, to be burned out, or to go down dark mental pathways.
Take your foot off the gas – give yourself 15 minutes a day that’s just for you and your physical, mental and spirit...
Do you know someone who is very judgmental?
Maybe they voice unflattering opinions about women who carry expensive handbags or people who drive a large vehicle or the neighbors who have a car that doesn’t move very often? They have an opinion about everyone and it’s most often not a very nice one?
When someone behaves like that, it’s about them, not about the person they’re judging. It gives you a glimpse into their early life and what they were taught, either intentionally or unintentionally. It’s likely they don’t even know they’re making snap judgments about people – it’s become their default behavior.
If it’s someone you deal with on a daily basis, like a team member or family member, you can help them see themselves as others do, and help them make a change for the better. When they say something like, “Her purse probably cost as much as my house payment…she thinks she’s so special!” you can chime in and say, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to easily buy a purse like that?...
Have you ever felt completely and totally misunderstood? Isn’t that the worst feeling? And it doesn’t matter how much you try to explain yourself, the other person is adamant that their interpretation of you and your motives is right and that you’re not a very nice person.
Ouch!
Please listen to this…think about this…analyze this…and then internalize this: what other people think of you is none of your business.
When they draw an incorrect conclusion about you, nothing you can say will sway them because they’re hearing your words through the same distortions that created their misunderstanding of you in the first place.
How they feel about you is NOT your responsibility.
They’ll either see the truth as they continue to interface with you and re-evaluate their knee-jerk response or they’ll continue to be clueless about the wonderful person you are. You just go on being that wonderful person. It’s not your job to fix anyone, and it's certainly not your job to explain yourself to tho...
Maybe you've had someone go off for no apparent reason on you, too?
The other day I was driving on the interstate. A motorcyclist went by, going about 90 miles an hour. About 10 minutes later, the motorcyclist was in the lane in front of me, stuck in stand-still traffic.
It was a hot, sunny southern day, the motorcyclist was in full leather gear and sitting on a hot engine, going nowhere and without the air conditioning the rest of us were enjoying. As we rolled forward about 5 feet at a time, suddenly this person started waving their arms, flipping me off and yelling. My guess is that they thought I was too close but what I know for sure is that their behavior was about them, not about be. Hot and frustrated at not being able to fly down the road, it was easy to take their frustration out on me. I gave an exaggerated shrug, hoping to signal that I didn’t mean to do whatever they thought I did but it didn’t stop the bad behavior. Taking a video of them behaving like a fool did.
Hey,...
Are you feeling a little bit stuck in your life? Like you’re OK with where you are but you thought you’d be farther along by now?
Where do you want to be? What do you want to have?
When we were in school, our paths were mapped out for us – progression through classes and grades to earn graduation, so we could progress through more classes and years to graduation again. After school years, it’s easy to forget to create our own framework so we can chart the course to our next “graduation” – whatever that may be, and it’s different for everyone.
Go back and answer those two questions - where do you want to be and what do you want to have. Spend some time on that, just as you did when you chose your preferred school and your profession.
Think about your next “graduation” – what will it look like? What will you have to learn and do in order to “graduate” this time? Now, take a few minutes today to lay out the curriculum for getting to graduation, and feel your life get immediately unstu...
Did someone hurt you, disrespect you or otherwise do you wrong? That’s on them.
Do you carry a grudge, tell the story of their bad behavior, or relive that story inside your head over and over?
That’s on you.
As long as you interact with other human beings, someone or something is bound to bruise your feelings, make you mad or break your heart. Stuff happens. What you do with that stuff, and whether or not you choose to heal the hurt and move on, is completely up to you.
Wallowing in the story, in the hurt and in the betrayal is pain you are choosing to inflict on yourself. Make a choice that allows you to move on and heal. When the story starts to play inside your head or come out of your mouth, remind yourself that you already felt that pain once – there’s literally no need for you to feel it again.
Then square up your shoulders, put a smile on your face and move into a new, healthier chapter of your life.
Want more? Click here for a free audio course, "Happiness is an Inside J...
What are you working for?
What are you dreaming of?
Are you working for a better tomorrow, and dreaming of someday?
That’s very human – as a matter of fact, brain imaging shows that inside most peoples’ heads, there’s a lot of activity when they’re thinking about their goals, hopes and dreams. The brain imaging doesn’t tell the whole story, though – chemically, when thinking of goals, hopes and dreams, many people are feeling stress, not happiness.
When researchers look at people who are focused on the people, animals, plants, and events around them, chemically many of them are in a state of satisfaction and happiness.
How would you rather feel?
Sure, it’s great to have goals, hopes and dreams. It’s better to focus on the steps on the path to those goals – stay present and focused on right now and let your head and your heart guide you on a satisfying path to those goals, one step at a time.
Want more? Click here for a free audio course, "Happiness is an Inside Job"
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Is there someone in your life that you’re trying to make happy? I don’t mean someone you do nice things for because it makes you feel good, I mean someone who is in some sort of relationship with you, doesn’t seem entirely satisfied with that relationship, and you find yourself making decisions based on how you think it will make them feel?
Take a moment and think about this – as powerful and as wonderful as you are, you do not have the power to make someone happy.
You can give them a raise if they’re your employee, you can change the way you wear your hair if they’re your life partner, you can make all the external changes they seem to want from you and guess what – they will only be happy when they choose to be happy. What they’re choosing instead is to be unhappy and blame you for it.
That’s a losing situation for you – you can never win. It’s time to decide what would make you happy in that relationship and go do it. Life is far too short to be another person’s excuse for unhapp...
Do you have to deal with someone who’s difficult? Maybe angry, defensive, egotistical, greedy – whatever they are, they just suck the life out of you?
Instead of dreading your interactions with them, try this – feel compassion for them.
Can you imagine going through life knowing that people don’t like you very much? And believe me, they know! Think of them as kind of broken, because in a way they are.
When you can feel for them instead of against them it helps you feel better. And maybe the interactions with them will go better, too!
I’m Sandy Weaver and just like Kacey, I love veterinarians!
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