Wagaliciousness Begins Here!

Have you ever trained a puppy? You got this squirmy, silly, sweet ball of fluff and suddenly you either had to teach the puppy rules and manners, or else you had to live with the random chewing and smelly little mistakes that happen without training.

For most of the last century, dog training was best described as “jerk and yell.” You put a training collar on your dog and as soon as he did something wrong, you issued a verbal correction (often “NO!!”) and jerked on the collar. Thankfully, dog training has come a looooooong way since then. Dolphin trainer Karen Pryor wrote a breakthrough book in 1984 entitled “Don’t Shoot the Dog! – The New Art of Teaching and Training.” Through her work with dolphins, she saw that positive reinforcement was the fastest, most reliable way of teaching any species. The book is considered foundational to those who train their dogs in this century and is also a very useful look at how to train people.

Yes, people. In her book, Karen describes specific pos...

Today I’m putting on my dog show judge hat while we talk about perfectionism. Unexpected, I know – this weekend, accomplished dog sports enthusiasts are converging on Madison Square Garden and the Jacob K. Javitz Center in New York City for the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. The best of the best dogs from across America and even around the world prepare to strut their stuff, hoping to win top honors.

Have you ever watched a dog show on TV or in person? A very normal reaction many people have is “how does the judge choose – they all look perfect!” If you’ve ever thought that thought, you’re right – many of the dogs in the ring are near the peak of perfection for their breed, and yet every dog but one walks away without the big trophy and media splash that accompanies winning Westminster.

Oh, and then there’s this – even the dog that wins Westminster Kennel Club, arguably the most prestigious win in the world of purebred dogs, isn’t perfect.

Yes, the winner may look perfect – perfe...

Have you ever heard the phrase “delicious anticipation?” This is one of those times when two words make magic when they get together, because they so perfectly describe something wonderful.

Delicious anticipation – what is it, why do you want it, and how do you get it?

Delicious anticipation was the excitement you had imagining what was in those holiday gifts with ribbons and bright paper and your name on them. Delicious anticipation is the butterflies you feel as you dress for a date with someone you love. Delicious anticipation is the fun you have planning a big vacation. Delicious anticipation is seeing your ideal home in your imagination and knowing that it will be yours one day. Delicious anticipation is you tuning in to your dreams and enjoying the movie of them as it plays inside your head.

Delicious anticipation is when your imagination meets your unfolding life. It’s second nature to some people, and for others it needs to be cultivated and practiced. There’s no right or wr...

Today, let’s talk about hugs. Are you a hugger? I am. Whenever I feel a connection to someone my default is to want to hug them. Not everyone’s a hugger, though, so occasionally the hug impulse has to be squelched.

Why do humans hug? Have you ever wondered about that? Turns out, hugging is addictive behavior. Hugging is also crucial to infants, helping them survive, and hugging is one of the best ways to lower stress in your body.

Hugs feel good. Hugs are good. But how do they constitute “addictive behavior” in humans? Because the act of being in a hug, whether initiating or accepting it, releases dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, which are the natural feel-good chemicals in our bodies. Physical touch, hugs included, triggers the release of endorphins, our bodies’ natural painkillers.

Turns out, we love hugging and being hugged because we love the way it makes us feel. We have an addiction to our own “happy drugs” and hugs satisfy the need to feel accepted, included, and loved. If ...

‘Tis the season that those of us in the northern hemisphere bundle up. And those of us with dogs, especially the small and relatively hairless ones, bundle their dogs up, too. If that’s you today, you have unwittingly celebrated today’s fun holiday – it’s Dress Up Your Pet Day.

I’m not ashamed to admit it – for most of my life I would have scoffed at this holiday, so if you’re rolling your eyes, it’s ok. I have had Siberian Huskies all my adult life, and they’re a breed that needs no bundling up in cold weather. Mother Nature literally designed them to be comfy in arctic conditions. I’ve never bought a coat or sweater for my dogs, and the only time any of them have worn booties is when they were loaned to a friend to run on his sled dog team for the winter. So no, I’m not someone who dresses up her dogs, except maybe at Halloween for a quick photo op.

That is, until I got my current Siberian, Kacey. It was during the pandemic lockdown that she moved from my friend Lisa’s house to min...

Last week a dear friend asked me a question, and I’m going to ask you the same one: do you make New Year’s resolutions?

My answer is no. I’ve been on this planet long enough to have experienced my pattern of good intentions and so-so results when trying to make life changes in the middle of winter, my least-favorite season. What’s your answer?

No matter which side you’re on, Team Resolution or Team Go With the Flow, you’re in good company. About half of Americans make resolutions at the changing of the year, and the rest of us don’t. For those who do, only about 10% will succeed at their stated goal, and the other 90% will tap out this week or next.

Yes, most people who make resolutions give themselves two weeks or less before throwing in the towel. Turns out, the idea of change is much more fun than the reality of instituting that change. When you understand how habits form and are reinforced inside your brain’s architecture, this wave of mass January failure makes perfect sense.

Oh, we human beings cherish endings and beginnings. From baby showers to funerals, housewarmings to homecomings, and of course to the hoopla around the changing of the year, the celebrations for the milestones in our lives show us just how important these events are.

But why?

Many of the traditions around endings and beginnings have been in place for hundreds of years, maybe even thousands of years, and in some cases far more than thousands of years. Around 100,000 years ago humans started intentionally burying their dead. In the century or so BCE, the Romans started celebrating birthdays, though usually only men’s birthdays and then only the big milestones, like 50 and 60 years. In the Renaissance period, families with wealth and nobility began celebrating birthdays amongst themselves. The concept of children’s birthday parties developed in Germany in the 1800’s and the brave new world of consumer products had a fresh itch to scratch. The origins of tonight’s changing-of-the-year fe...

Oh, the lovely traditions of the holidays. For some, this time of year is all about festive traditions, and for some, it’s more about their religious affiliation. No matter what or why you celebrate, not every aspect of your holidays is made of wildflowers and unicorns. For a lot of people, there are parts of the festivities they wish would go away.

And that’s perfectly OK!

Maybe your family didn’t spring from a Norman Rockwell painting. Maybe your idyllic childhood was marred by a tragic loss. Maybe you have one dysfunctional person you can avoid the rest of the year but have to deal with during the holidays, and you’d really rather not.

It can be very difficult to buck traditions and family expectations, and it’s often the pathway to your own mental balance and wellbeing. I’m going to ask you an important question – are you an adult? If you’re living an otherwise autonomous life yet are having difficulty setting a holiday-related boundary, time to focus on and fix this holiday hic...

Think back to your childhood, and what you remember from Decembers past. Chances are, at least a few of your memories include sweets. Maybe your mom was like mine, and she made holiday cookies, candies, and pies. What did she make, and what was your favorite? Do you make it now, and if so, how do your family members react?

Maybe your December memories include some not-so-sweet ones. I remember watching Mom cry so hard I thought her heart would stop when Dad left for Viet Nam in December of 1968. I hope when you think back on your Decembers, the good memories drown out the not-so-good ones.

My mom was Eileen Weaver and she loved to create holiday favorites. Each year she’d spend pieces of several days creating a mountain of sugary goodness for the family and to give as gifts. Dad loved her peanut patties and date nut roll. My brothers and I loved her snowball cookies, and loved helping her make cut-out cookies decorated with colored icing and sprinkles. She made caramel corn, peanut b...

If there’s a high-water mark for brains, Alfred Nobel probably etched it. In his last will, signed in Paris on November 27^th, 1895, he left the bulk of his fortune to a special prize fund. He passed away just over a year later, and his legacy lives on today with the awarding of this year’s Nobel Prizes.

Nobel wanted the money he’d made in his varied and successful life to be invested well, and each year the organization he created would award monetary prizes. The categories he specified are those he was most interested in during his own life: physics, chemistry, physiology or medicine, literature, and peace. The awards would go to “those who, during the preceding year, shall have conferred the greatest benefit to humankind.”

Which brings us to we mere mortals – what is our benefit to humankind? It’s common for people to wonder what their purpose in this life is, and to wonder if they’re doing enough to “earn their keep” in this world. If your thoughts occasionally venture down roads ...